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Ten Years in an Open Necked Shirt Page 5


  in the cheap seats where murder breeds

  somebody is out of breath

  sleep is a luxury they don’t need

  a sneak preview of death

  deadly nightshade is your flower

  manslaughter your meat

  spend a year in a couple of hours

  on the edge of beezley street

  where the action isn’t

  that’s where it is

  state your position

  vacancies exist

  in an x certificate exercise

  ex servicemen explete

  keith joseph smiles and a baby dies

  in a box on beezley street

  from the boarding houses and the bedsits

  full of accidents and fleas

  somebody gets it

  where the missing persons freeze

  wearing dead men’s overcoats

  you can’t see their feet

  a riff joint shuts and opens up

  right down on beezley street

  cars collide colours clash

  disaster movie stuff

  for the man with the fu manchu moustache

  revenge is not enough

  there’s a dead canary on a swivel seat

  there’s a rainbow in the road

  meanwhile on beezley street

  silence is the mode

  it’s hot beneath the collar

  it’s cold beneath the balls

  where the perishing stink of squalor

  impregnates the walls

  the rats have all got rickets

  they spit through broken teeth

  a blood stain is your ticket

  one way down beezley street

  the gangster and his hired hat

  drive a borrowed car

  he lookes like the duke of edinburgh

  but not so lah-di-dah

  OAP mother-to-be

  watch that three-piece suite

  when shitstopper drains

  and crocodile skis

  are seen on beezley street

  in the kingdom of the blind

  where the one-eyed man is king

  beauty problems are redefined

  the doorbells do not ring

  light bulbs pop like blisters

  the only form of heat

  where a fellow sells his sister

  down the river on beezley street

  the boys are on the wagon

  the girls are on the shelf

  their common problem

  is that they’re not someone else

  the dirt blows out

  the dust blows in

  you can’t keep it neat

  it’s a fully furnished dustbin

  16 beezley street

  vince the ageing savage

  betrays no kind of life

  but the smell of yesterday’s cabbage

  and the ghost of last year’s wife

  through a constant haze

  of deodorant sprays

  he says retreat

  alsatians dog the dirty days

  down the middle of beezley street

  eyes dead as viscous fish

  look around for laughs

  if i could have just one wish

  i would be a photograph

  on this permanent monday morning

  get lost or fall asleep

  when the yellow cats are yawning

  round the back of beezley street

  people turn to poison quick

  as lager turns to piss

  sweethearts are physically sick

  every time they kiss

  it’s a sociologist’s paradise

  each day repeats

  uneasy cheesy greasy queasy beastly beezley street

  suspended sentence

  read the paper humdrum

  what’s the caper what goes on

  eat die ho hum

  page one some bum

  is giving a lunatic a loaded gun

  he walks others run

  thirty dead no fun

  do something destructive chum

  sit right down write a letter to the sun

  bring back hanging for everyone

  they took my advice they brought it back

  the national costume was all over black

  there were corpses in the avenues and cul-de-sacs

  piled up neatly in six-man stacks

  hanging from the traffic lights and specially made racks

  they’d hang you for incontinence and fiddling your tax

  failure to hang yourself justified the axe

  deedley dee deedley dum

  they brought back hanging for everyone

  the novelty’s gone it’s hell

  the whole place is a death cell

  the bang bang bang of the funeral bells

  those who aren’t hanging are hanging someone else

  the people pay the paper sells

  death by the lorry load it smells

  swinging britain don’t put me on

  they brought back hanging for everyone

  limbo

  their lives are a mystery they make it their career

  in the single file of history fall and disappear

  swearing they’ll get even with all those other creeps

  philistines and heathens who violently sleep

  or steal from cigarette machines just for the change

  to get back to where they’ve been: a doorway in the rain

  back in the confession box back in the slums

  desire burns like chicken pox underneath the thumbs

  a refugee from purgatory in a purple robe of scorn

  in the holy ghost observatory wears a crown of thorns

  turns out she’s a gringo a hard circumstance

  limbo baby limbo they wanna see you dance

  take the tradesmen’s entrance take it out on a tramp

  every fucking sentence complaints about the damp

  the only girl is a faint cry from a garden of cement

  weekends watch the paint dry it’s a big event

  look through heaven’s windows with their opalescent panes

  limbo baby limbo down the boulevard of shame

  saint margaret dies intact she hardly seems alert

  the marble glance denies the fact her face hurts

  the extra legal image the cold cream skin

  the regal gimmicks did you in

  look through heaven’s windows you can see the powder blue veil

  the cover girl of limbo and sweetheart of the jail

  gipsy babies hopscotch outside the silver gates

  the witch doctor’s wrist watch is stuck at five to eight

  a bad break a slight ache is everyone’s complaint

  flesh flakes like angel cake from mugshots of the saint

  who fell from a window and was never seen again

  till he turned up in limbo: a doorway in the rain

  a hero rides to heaven the public merely rot

  for a fraction of forever in a designated spot

  eternally paralysed the morbid orbit shifts

  halfway to paradise stuck in the lift

  some smart cracking bimbo says you can’t be employed

  sends you off to limbo on the stairway to a void

  a distant relation

  a family affair

  look at this picture

  we’re in there somewhere

  permanent fixtures

  people who care

  stranger beware

  this is a family affair

  all of our yesterdays

  familiar rings

  i have to get away

  it’s breaking my heart strings

  we have a drink

  it’s a special occasion

  it makes me think

  about a distant relation

  a family affair

  always a mixture

  of people in chairs

  permanent fixtures<
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  bring pressure to bear

  and problems to share

  this is a family affair

  holiday snapshots

  of you and myself

  acting like crackpots

  like everyone else

  the bermuda shorts

  and the summer creations

  bringing thoughts

  of that distant relation

  a family affair

  we break ornaments

  and get them repaired

  we bring up past events

  that hang in the air

  stranger beware

  this is a family affair

  all of our yesterdays

  familiar rings

  i have to get away

  from certain surroundings

  weddings and funerals

  and special occasions

  and all the usual

  distant relations

  a family affair

  look at this picture

  we’re in there look there

  permanent fixtures

  people who care

  whisper who dares

  this is a family affair

  the house on nowhere street

  only a graze was the final phrase

  running out of breath

  a travelling javelin stabbed him in the abdomen

  he bled to death

  the poor fool he found his feet

  but left his face behind

  in the happy house on nowhere street

  with the pale blue bamboo blind

  the trembling tongues he once enjoyed

  talk behind his back

  tell me he was self employed

  he gave himself the sack

  he’s on the scrounge in the cocktail lounge

  where once he wined and dined

  a thousand eyeballs shake him down

  from the pale blue bamboo blind

  the music will continue

  there is no way out

  bone muscle and sinew

  begin to move about

  whip that sucker with a heavy back beat

  you gotta be cool to be the kind

  who haunt the house on nowhere street

  with the pale blue bamboo blind

  he’s hanging round the swimming pool

  with a mental cigarette

  he knows what keeps all women cool

  he knows what gets ’em wet

  wave on wave of body heat

  frozen in his mind

  far from the house on nowhere street

  with the pale blue bamboo blind

  he came in search of paradise

  he even learned to drive

  became a living sacrifice

  to other people’s wives

  nobody seeks similar

  with nothing much in mind

  apply the house on nowhere street

  with the pale blue bamboo blind

  spilt beans

  the roads are littered with guilty men

  who write your name with a poison pen

  one by one those friendly swine

  who fell off the bent assembly line

  turn up for a cup of tea

  turn up the colour TV

  then they put it about that you’ve been mean

  it’s no good crying over spilt beans

  all those fancy dans at the palais de danse

  offer you assistance in their firm’s vans

  nice boys who love their mothers

  much more than a million lovers

  what he wants is four spare wheels

  one fair deal and two square meals

  he’s exactly as he seems

  it’s no good crying over spilt beans

  he’s got sixty low-down dirty ways

  to drive you mad in thirty days

  you give him a rose he gives you thorns

  you give him poetry he gives you porn

  you give him presents he sends them back

  he got a seven-course dinner said thanks for the snack

  give me what’s crucial crisp and green

  it’s no good crying over spilt beans

  the three stooges the four just men

  the magnificent seven and the hollywood ten

  lord rockingham’s eleven and the famous five

  three men in a boat and their wives

  the twelve apostles and the fiddlers three

  ten green bottles and the three degrees

  and wave on wave of brilliantine

  says no good crying over spilt beans

  indigestion housemaid’s knees

  your complexion looks like cheese

  you make groovy gravy mother of meat

  since you wed all you do is eat

  too fat to fuck and that’s that

  he’s got genitals fitted with a thermostat

  a hitch in the kitchen what’s that scream

  it’s no good crying over spilt beans

  majorca

  fasten your seat belts says the voice

  inside the plane you can hear no noise

  engines made by rolls-royce

  take your choice

  make mine majorca

  check out the parachutes can’t be found

  alert the passengers they’ll be drowned

  a friendly mug says settle down

  when i come round i’m gagged and bound

  for majorca

  here comes the neat hostess

  and her unapproachable flip finesse

  i found the meaning of the word excess

  they’ve got little bags if you want to make a mess

  i fancied cuba but it cost a lot less

  to majorca

  (whose blonde sand fondly kisses the cool fathoms

  of the blue mediterranean)

  they packed us into the white hotel

  you could still smell the polycell

  and the white paint in the air-conditioned cells

  the waiter smells of fake chanel

  gauloises garlic as well

  said if i like i could call him miguel

  well really

  i got drunk with another fella

  who’d just brought up a previous paella

  wanted a fight but said they were yella

  in majorca

  the guitars rang the castinets clicked

  the dancers stamped the dancers kicked

  the double diamond flowed like sick

  mother’s pride tortilla and chips

  pneumatic drills you can’t kip

  take a dip you’re in the shit

  if you sing in the street you’re knicked

  in majorca

  the heat made me sick i had to stay in the shade

  must have been something in the lemonade

  but by the balls of franco i paid

  i had to pawn my bucket and spade

  next year i take the international brigade

  to majorca

  conditional discharge

  satisfaction comes and goes

  biological action cannot be froze

  a sexual recharge a plug in a socket

  conditional discharge a sticky deposit

  love on the sick down in the dumps

  visit the clinic where the microscopes jump

  with the love-sick side effects tell me what was it

  conditional discharge a sticky deposit

  the memory lingers of a clean routine

  another man’s fingers under my jeans

  he gave me a card some antibiotics

  said conditional discharge a sticky deposit

  a random fuck dirty sheets

  a crack in a cup a lavatory seat

  i’m in the dark about where i got it

  conditional discharge a sticky deposit

  sexual freedom left me alone

  in a garden of eden syndrome

  it’s on the cards you’ll come across it

  condit
ional discharge a sticky deposit

  the ups and downs of times like these

  fucking around is a social disease

  and the public at large don’t know they’ve got it

  conditional discharge a sticky deposit

  a problem of leisure measured in terms

  of pain plus pleasure plus poison sperm

  take this diagram keep it in your pocket

  conditional discharge sticky deposit

  nothing

  nothing isn’t anything

  it’s tasteless and it’s flat

  nothing if it’s anything

  is even less than that

  i’ve got that certain nothing

  no one can do without

  the spanish call it nada

  i call it nowt

  i’d take the train but don’t care

  to travel by myself

  all the way from nowhere

  to get to nowhere else

  nothing ever goes on

  nothing never ends

  say nothing to no one

  it’s nothing to do with them

  nothing going on and on

  nothing wall to wall

  it happens once and then it’s gone

  leaving bugger all

  23rd

  you can count on him

  he’ll always let you down

  while you hang about for him

  he’s in another town

  he gets from A to B

  he can’t see eye to eye

  with anyone if you ask me

  he doesn’t try

  check his empty pockets

  check them more than once

  he hasn’t got it

  whatever it is that you want

  energy is a four-letter word

  he doesn’t buy

  here he comes now 23rd

  he doesn’t try

  compassion it isn’t necessary

  his sickness is an act

  he’ll make you an accessory

  after this obvious fact

  you must excuse him

  ask his mother why

  you can’t use him

  he doesn’t try

  it doesn’t pay to help him

  he’s somewhere else